Celebrity Death Match
by Ivy Crane
Summary: There has been a nuclear war! The only town left in the world is Harmony! REVIEWERS VOTE for COUPLES and ENEMIES that FIGHT to the FINISH! The votes are in for the Ivy/Sam/Grace/David! Vote for Fox/Gwen/Ethan/Theresa triangle!
1. The Rough and Rowdy Brawl

  


Title: Rough and Rowdy Brawl

Author: Ivy Crane

Disclaimer: I do not own Passions, Harmony, any of these characters or the state of Maine.

Rating: PG-13, to be on the safe side.

Settings/Spoilers: All of the characters are alive (for now) except Cracked Connie, Cecil, and Doc. Timmy and Zombie Charity came back to life! Tabitha got her powers back and Hecuba is out of her bottle! Everything so far has happened except the Double Wedding has been called off because of the War. 

A/N: This is my first interactive fanfiction where I use the votes you cast to write my fanfic. I will pick a different triangle each chapter and people will have one week to vote before I put up my next chapter. You can either vote for the loser of the triangle to find another specific character or have their enemies finish them off (no punishment for killers) and you can't kill someone who is preggers or handicapped. This first chapter is the hosts: Tabitha, Timmy, Zombie Charity, and Hecuba telling people about characters' enemies, loves, and marriages! Don't forget to VOTE and please as always ENJOY!

Tabitha: Hello and welcome to Harmony!

Hecuba: Enough with the pleasantries Harmony is the only town left in the world! Thanks to us! With all of this supernatural stuff going on here bombs can't penetrate!

Zombie: Yes they're all dead

Hecuba: Everyone has either disintegrated or is decaying! 

Zombie: And if they missed then they're dying from radiation poisoning as we speak!

Hecuba: With the high fever.

Zombie: And the vomiting every hour of every day.

Hecuba: And people are to weak to get up to use the bathroom, so they have to…

Timmy: Will you stop making Timmy sick to his stomach?

Hecuba: Wooden dolls don't have stomachs.

Timmy: Timmy's not a doll Timmy's a real boy.

Hecuba: Pinocchio wannabe.

Timmy: WHOREd Witch of the Wenches!

Hecuba: You little son of a beech!

Timmy: Timmy already told you Timmy's not made out of wood!

Zombie: (chanting) FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

Tabitha: Will you three cut it out! Okay, so before I was so rudely interrupted (glares at Zombie and Hecuba)

Zombie and Hecuba: Our pleasure!

Tabitha: Anyways, we'll start off with my favorite family (grimaces) the Cranes!

Zombie: Oh I know are we going to start off with your baby first?

Tabitha: Shut Up! Now normally we'd start off with Alistair since he's the patriarch of the Crane family but he's not in Harmony and weirdly still alive. So instead we'll start off with my least favorite person besides Charity, Julian. 

Zombie: From the way you were playing push-push with him I'd have to say otherwise! 

Tabitha: (raises her hand threateningly and continues) Julian's enemies are all of Harmony and he's been married twice.

Zombie: Feeling jealous?

Tabitha: (ignores her and continues) Next we have Ivy Winthrop Crane who like her ex- husband everyone in the town is her enemy, she's been married once, and is in love with Sam Bennett. After that we have Theresa Lopez- Fitzgerald Crane whose enemies are Gwen Winthrop, Rebecca Hotchkiss, and Ivy Crane. She is in love with Ethan Crane. Then we have Rebecca Hotchkiss whose enemies are Ivy Crane and Theresa Lopez- Fitzgerald Crane. She has been married once and is one of the mistresses of Julian Crane. Then there's Gwen Winthrop whose enemy is Theresa Lopez- Fitzgerald Crane. She is married.  

Zombie: Now for all of the local uninteresting people.

Hecuba: How many more people of Harmony must you tell us about? If the viewers don't know about the enemies and how many times they were married. Then screw them. Instead why don't we get rid of that sickingly sweet Charity? I know other people must get tired of the fact that Charity is a teenager and doesn't get mad! She didn't even get mad when her fiancée knocked up her cousin!

Zombie: Tell me about it! I had to pretend to be all sweet and everything! When I really just wanted to punch her Aunt in the face every time she made that disgusting shit called Tomato Soup Cake! Now who the hell would want to eat that!

Tabitha: As much as I want to destroy everyone in Harmony and believe me I do. We have strict orders from the dark side to let the Viewers handle it! Don't worry Charity/Miguel/Kay triangle will be the first to go!

Timmy: To Hell with the Dark side Timmy says let get rid of her now!

Zombie: Didn't you give your heart to her?

Timmy: So?

Hecuba: Well, aren't you in love with her?

Timmy: Timmy was but then Timmy died because of her. So screw Charity!

All together: Screw Charity!

Tabitha: (The basement door flies open and an eerie red fog comes across the floor) I better go see what they want! (Goes down in the basement and the door shuts behind her. Ten minutes later she comes up again.) That was the dark side. They want us to get back on track. So anyways we'll just have to wait until next week to find out what happens to the Charity/Miguel/Kay triangle! And if we get to say bye-bye Charity for good!

A/N: What'd you think? I'm only 13 so please take it easy! Anyways please vote for the Charity/Kay/Miguel triangle and if you want Charity to die (can't kill a pregnant woman or a cripple) or if you want Kay, Charity, or Miguel with any other characters please specify! Hope you Enjoyed I'll be looking forward to you vote and review! Hope to see you next week! Bye ;)!


	2. 49'ers against the Giants

Title: 9'ers against the Giants

Author: Ivy Crane

Disclaimer: I do not own Passions, Harmony, any of these characters or the state of Maine.

A/N: Thanks to those of you who voted and reviewed it was highly appreciated! Thanks to: [Cry Me A River][1], Gablock the Hated, [Nicole Marie][2], chrissy, Connie (un-cracked), Bryn, Rebecca, [KiKi-ChErRy88][3], [Zoids-Fan][4], CowgirlSky, [luv-kisses-n-hugs][5], Laravia, Alison, Chelsea, and my best friend Beth. You could cheat and count all of the reviews to see who won or just read the story! If you choose the latter then ENJOY!

Tabitha: The votes are finally in!

Timmy: Let Timmy see!

Hecuba: The block of wood has finally gotten some of those splinters out of his brain! Lets see if Charity dies!

Tabitha: Shut up Hecuba! We'll just have to watch it through the scroll.

Zombie: Not another scroll nothing good ever happens on them!

Tabitha: Last time we watched on a scroll you killed my Timmy!

Zombie: (Cracking an evil smile) I said nothing good ever happens on them. I never said it wasn't any fun.

Tabitha: Fun! Why you little Bitch!

Zombie: Careful Tabby you wouldn't want to upset you baby!

Tabitha: (Tabitha lunges for Zombie but has to be held back by Hecuba and Timmy.)

Hecuba: Let's just watch the scroll.

Tabitha: Fine. (They all watch the scroll)

Scroll: (Starts singing theme song by Jane French)

I would hold the hand of the one who could lead me places   
and kiss the lips of the one who could sing so sweet.  
And I would fly on the wings of the bird   
I knew, it would take me highest. 

Breathe in, breathe out.   
You keep me alive.   
You are the fire burning inside of me.  
You are my passion for life.

(Opens to the Bennett Living Room)

Kay: You've always heard the saying don't argue with fools. So I won't waste my breath.

Grace: Kay that was an evil thing to say!

Kay: What? Like me right! You don't care about me or my baby. (Starts to cry) 

Grace: That's not true.

Kay: When have you ever thought about me before your precious Charity?

Grace: (Doesn't say a thing.)

Kay: I'm waiting Grace!

Grace: When you wanted to go to that dance…

Kay That was before Charity came! You don't even love your own daughter!

Grace: After the way you've been acting I don't see why I should!

Kay: I haven't always acted this way or haven't you noticed!

Grace: (Shifts uncomfortably for a moment.) Fine. Go for all I care.

Kay: Bye Grace, Jess, Charity. And Grace I'm sorry that Mom died a long time ago. (Walks out the door and into the blizzard with her suitcase.)

~Crane Mansion~

Theresa: I want her out of here now!

Sam: Theresa, calm down! _Man these people are annoying! _We'll have this situation resolved shortly. _Why do they have to throw out the only hot and sane Crane?_

Ivy: Sam, there is a blizzard out there and I have no place to go! (To Ethan) Talk to your Father.

Ethan: Sam, isn't there anything else we can do?

Sam: Well since Julian said in so many words that Ivy can't stay. I'm afraid she can't stay. 

Ivy: Where am I supposed to go!

Sam: Well… (Cell phone rings) Chief Bennett here… Yes… What the hell do you mean you can't find her?… What is a pregnant woman doing out in the middle of a snow storm?… Why did you let her go?… What do you mean you didn't think she would go out? Apparently she did… I'll be right there. ( Hangs up the phone.) Ivy, come with me. The rest of you go back to bed. (Walks out the door with Ivy following in her wheelchair.)

Ivy: (Nervously) Are you going to arrest me?

Sam: Of course not. You can come with me and stay at the B&B.

Ivy: Thank you! What was the phone call about?

Sam: Kay. She's lost in the blizzard.

Ivy: What! Oh my god the baby! Grace must be devastated!

Sam: More or less.

~Bennett House~

Grace: I just called Sam. He should be on his way. This is all his fault I know it!

Charity: I'm sure she'll be okay Aunt Grace! (Smiles evilly)

Grace: Of course you're right! You always are!

Charity: I'll be right back. I need to fix my makeup!

Grace: (There's a knock on the door) I wonder who that could be! (Opens door to see Miguel standing there.) Hi Miguel.

Miguel: Hey Mrs. B.

Grace: Charity's in her room.

Miguel: Actually, I came to see Kay. Do you know where she is?

Grace: To tell you the truth, no haven't seen her. Why don't you go up and see Charity. (Starts pushing him up the stairs.) 

Miguel: But…

Grace: Have fun.

Miguel: _I guess I could go see Charity. _(Approaches her room. The door is slightly open and he can hear every word.)

Charity: I sure can play them all for fools. I have Aunt Grace, Miguel, Jess, and everyone else around my middle finger. Now all I need to get is Uncle Sam. As soon as he finds his precious Kay frozen like a Kay-cicle he'll probably want to run back to Ivy. But I'll be the one to bring him back with a little wheelchair 'accident'. Then I'll be the main focus again. As I was always meant to be.

Miguel: _How could that cold-hearted bitch be so cruel! And what did she mean by Kay-cicle?_ (Just then the door bursts open and Miguel goes down the stairs to see what all of the commotion was about)

Sam: (Bursts through the door flanked by Ivy.) Where the hell is my daughter?

Grace: (Who was smiling narrowed her eyes at the sight of Ivy.) What the hell is she doing here?

Sam: I was at the Crane Mansion when you called. Ivy was kind enough to offer to help me look for her.

Grace: You were at the Crane Mansion?

Sam: Yeah. So?

Grace: You never told me that you were going there.

Sam: You never asked.

Grace: This bitch probably just wanted to get you in bed again.

Sam: Ivy didn't make the call. Theresa did.

Grace: Well this bitch probably…

Ivy: Stop! Look! Your daughter is probably freezing to death as we speak! Her baby probably won't make it and she won't either if you two don't stop your bickering and start looking for her.

Miguel: Mrs. Crane is right.

Charity: Hello everyone! (Being her normal perky bouncy self.)

Miguel: (Rolls his eyes.) Hello Charity. Lets go find Kay!

Sam: Right! Miguel, Charity, Grace come with me! Ivy, stay here and see if Kay calls. She'd probably hang up if Grace or Charity answered. And I know she liked you. Call my cell phone if you here anything from her. Jessica you stay with Ivy. 

Ivy: I will.

Sam: Let's go! (Sam, Miguel, annoying Grace, and perky Charity all get into Sam's squad car.)

~Cliff overlooking the beach~

Kay: I wonder if anyone even cares that I'm gone. Maybe I'll call my house to see if I can talk to Daddy one last time. (Picks up her cell phone and calls the Bennett House.)

Ivy: (Answers the phone.) Hello?

Kay: Ivy? What are you doing at my house?

Ivy: Kay! Oh thank god you're all right! Where are you?

Kay: Why does it matter to you?

Ivy: We're all worried sick!

Kay: Even my mother and Charity?

Ivy: Well… Uh…

Kay: It's okay.

Ivy: Where are you? Please tell me. Your Father, Miguel, Jessica, and I are worried about you! If you stay out there to long your baby could die!

Kay: I won't have to worry about that soon.

Ivy: What? 

Kay: Tell Miguel that if he really cares he'll know where I am!

Ivy: He's looking!

Kay: Tell him to look in his heart, soul, and past! If he remembers where I always wanted to get married he'll find me. If not I'll jump. He has one hour. (Hangs up the phone.)

~Bennett House~

Ivy: Kay! Wait! Dammit!

Jessica: That was Kay?

Ivy: Yeah.

Jessica: Where is she?

Ivy: I have no idea. (Picks up the phone and dials Sam's cell-phone number.)

Sam: Hello!

Ivy: Hi Sam.

Sam: Did she call!

Ivy: Yeah she called.

Sam: Where is she!

Ivy: I don't know. Put Miguel on the phone.

Sam: Why?

Ivy: Please Sam. If you love your daughter just do it.

Miguel: (Sam hands him the phone.) Hello.

Ivy: Miguel. I don't have much time to explain. But where did Kay always want to get married when she was growing up.

Miguel: I don't know. Why?

Ivy: That's where she is! And if you don't find her in forty-five minutes then she'll jump.

Miguel: What?

~Cliff over looking the beach 10 minutes till jump time~

Kay: Only 10 minutes left I should never have expected him to remember.

~Squad Car 5 minutes till jump time~

Miguel: I remember now! She always wanted to get married on a cliff!

Sam: Well duh! What cliff? She always loved the beach!

Miguel: Lighthouse Park!

Sam: Are you sure?

Miguel: Positive!

~Lighthouse Park jump time~

Kay: Well. Look at the time. I guess no one really does care. (Just then she hears a car honking.) 

Miguel: Kay! (Runs out of the Squad Car. Picks Kay up and swings her around. Knocking into Charity who was standing right next to her. Who flies off the cliff.)

Charity: (Who is holding onto the cliff with one hand grabs Kay and pulls her down too.)

Kay: (Grabs onto the cliff as well.) Miguel!

Charity: Miguel you can only save one of us! Who will it be K…

Tabitha: Damn Scroll!

Zombie: What's wrong with it?

Hecuba: I know it ran out of batteries!

Tabitha: Batteries? Tim-Tim I thought I told you to go get some energizer batteries but instead you got Duracell! 

Timmy: Timmy's sorry he hopes his princess isn't mad! But Timmy couldn't get Energizer batteries!

Tabitha: And why not?

Timmy: The big, fluffly, pink bunny scared Timmy. So fluffy and too much color!

Tabitha: Oh Tim-Tim.

Scroll: Shut up! I don't need batteries!

Hecuba: Then why did you stop?

Scroll: To make it more suspenseful! Now do you want to know who he picked or not?

All: Yes!

~Lighthouse Park~

Charity: Miguel you can only save one of us! Who will it be Me or Kay?

Miguel: That's easy Kay! (Pulls her up and lets Charity fall to her doom.)

Kay: Oh Miguel! (Pulls him into a kiss)

Sam: Kay! (Pulls her into a hug.)

Grace: Where's Charity?

Kay: She tried to pull me off but fell instead.

Grace: You should have saved her! You little bitch!

Sam: Look Grace! I have to tell you something.

Grace: What?

Sam: I still love Ivy!

Grace: What!

Scroll: That is all I can say! For now!

A/N: What did you think? The next Triangle is Ivy/Sam/Grace/David! You can't kill a cripple! That's just wrong! Please understand! And vote! See you next week!

__

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=320928
   [2]: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=260981
   [3]: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=318163
   [4]: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=323722
   [5]: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=155943



	3. Ivy vs Grace 936

Title: Ivy vs. Grace 936

Author: Ivy Crane

Disclaimer: I do not own Passions, Harmony, any of these characters, or the state of Maine.

A/N: Thanks to all of you who reviewed! It was highly appreciated! Only 7 people voted this time! Shame on you! :) LOL! Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter! I know I will ;)!

Tabitha: We're free! We're free! (dancing around with Timmy) We're finally free of that blondy bitch!

Scroll: Who said you were free? 

Zombie: What do you mean? We just watched my to sweet to be healthy half fall to her death!

Scroll: All of the triangles have to be destroyed first.

Hecuba: Why you little…

Scroll: Spare me another one of your witchling insults.

Hecuba: (Flattered) Why thank you!

Scroll: And I mean that mentally not physically. I don't think I've seen anything that could look less young, alive, active, and beautiful than you.

Hecuba: I'll pretend I didn't hear that!

Timmy: Timmy still doesn't understand! I thought evil liked triangles!

Scroll: We do! But the only way to destroy a triangle is either for one of the people to come to their senses and move on or have one of them kill the other one! We hope it's the later! But some of Harmony surprisingly is starting to move on. So we have to act fast before they do!

Timmy: Why don't you just kill them all?

Scroll: Well stupido blocko woodo! Any triangle that is made by evil will make them happy. But that is only a small price we have to pay for an eternity's worth of hard earned labor in Hell! 

Tabitha: Then can we watch the next triangle?

Scroll: The next triangle of sorts is the Ivy/Sam/David/Grace!

Tabitha: You know there is one thing I don't get about Grace.

Zombie: What?

Tabitha: Why they don't have a lot of money and move off some place a way from all of this evil.

Zombie: Huh?

Tabitha: I mean if some one did that to my hair I would sue. There isn't a court of law wouldn't grant her the money for hair like that. 

Zombie: To true.

Scroll: Ahem.

Tabitha: What?

Scroll: Are you ready? 

Zombie: Okay!

Scroll: Well when we last left Sam and Grace…

~Lighthouse Park~

Sam: Look Grace! I have to tell you something.

Grace: What?

Sam: I still love Ivy.

Grace: What!

Sam: Let's talk about this when we get back home.

~Bennett House~

Ivy: (Pacing back and forth in her wheelchair) Oh I hope they found Kay in time!

Jessica: I'm sure they did! (Just then the front door bursts open) Kay!

Kay: Hey Jess! (Hugs Jessica)

Jessica: We were so worried about you!

Grace: (Slamming the door shut) Well apparently Kay didn't worry enough about Charity!

Jessica: What do you mean Mom?

Miguel: Look, Mrs. Bennett it was an accident!

Grace: Don't you mean Mrs. Hastings!

Sam: What the hell does that me?

Grace: Well now that my ex-daughter killed the only person in this family that I love. Well. I think you can guess the rest.

Jessica: (Meekly) Mom?

Grace: (Ignoring Jessica) And after you said you loved Ivy. I figured that since you love Ivy and I love David it would be best this way!

Ivy and Jessica: What!

Grace: He said he still loved you. Are you proud of yourself Ivy, you broke up a perfectly happy family!

Ivy: I…I don't know what to say.

Grace: For once in your life!

Sam: And for once in her life she had nothing to do with it! It was your fault Grace not hers.

Grace: Huh?

Sam: She never ignored any of my children. She was always there for Kay if she ever needed anything. And if something were going wrong in her life she would never blame it on anyone else. And lets face it Grace she's hot your not. I mean what's with your hair it looks like you got into a fight with a weed-whacker. People always used to tell me that I should really start doing the yard-work. If you weren't such a (using his fingers a quotation marks) Saint then we could have gotten tons of money of a court case.

Tabitha: Ha! I told you she could get money for hair like that.

Timmy: Shut up! Your talking hurts Timmy's ears.

Grace: Well I never…

Sam: Will darken these doorsteps again. I'll send the divorce papers to David's room at the B&B.

A/N: I don't have time to finish this chapter tonight so I'll split this triangle into more than one chapter. So don't worry more will happen with the Ice and Tomato Soup Cake Queens!


	4. Ivy vs Grace 937

Title: Ivy vs. Grace 937

Author: Ivy Crane

Disclaimer: I don not own Passions, Harmony, any of these characters, or the state of Maine.

A/N: Thanks for those of you who were patient (Sorry)! This is hopefully the last chapter to this triangle so I can start on a newer and not to mention younger triangle. 

P.S. I hope you don't choke on goldfish this time, Beth!

P.S.S. I kind of made a mistake last chapter I talked about divorce papers. Well let's just say that Grace and David got an annulment and Sam and Grace married again (Gag me with a spoon)!   

~B&B David's room~

Grace: (Pacing) I can't believe he would dump me for that Blondie bitch!

David: (Lying on the bed) Relax! Besides you said you loved me first.

Grace: Just because I said I loved you doesn't mean he should go jump in bed with Ivy! {Actually it does get it through that awful haircut of yours! Sorry! She said that on the show once and it just pissed me off!}

David: Well actually it does.

Grace: (Giving one of her world class glares.) Whose side are you on anyways?

David: (Grabbing around the waist and pulling her down on the bed) Yours of course Baby! And I say if he can do it. Then so can we.

Grace: I love the way you think!

{I think you can guess for yourself what happens next. Let's just say we really should stop calling her Saint Grace!}

~Bennett House~

Sam: I can't believe Grace can be so cruel!

Jessica: It's okay Dad!

Sam: But ignoring her own children for her niece and long lost son! I thought that was something Ivy would do not Grace!

Ivy: I'm just right in the room!

Sam: Sorry Ivy! I've heard stories!

Ivy: About how I'm Poison Ivy and I neglect all of my kids!

Sam: Well…Yea

Ivy: I'm so out of here!

Sam: Wait! I need you for emotional support as I go through this divorce.

Ivy: You have two of your kids right in front of you!

Sam: They're to close to the problem.

Kay: Actually, quite the opposite.

Sam: Well… You know what I mean.

Jessica: Actually, we don't.

Sam: (Groans and puts his head in his hands) Only I can manage to piss off all of the women in my life in one night!

~Tabby's House~

Tabitha: (Laughing) Moron!

Hecuba: Yes but a very hot moron!

Zombie: Timmy's right is all you can think about is men?

Timmy: (Nervously) Timmy said no such thing! Leave Timmy out of this!

Scroll: Ladies! Ladies!

Timmy: ahem!

Scroll: And dolls.

Timmy: For the last time Timmy's a real boy.

Scroll: Let's just get back to the show shall we? (mutters under breath) I'm going to need a long vacation after this.

~ Bennett kitchen. 2 weeks later. ~

{In two weeks Sam and Grace got divorced. Grace and David got married and Ivy and Sam are taking their relationship slow.)

 Ivy: (Rolled into the kitchen. That had a horrible scent to it. Like burnt pizza and metal cooked together.) Oh my! What the hell is that god-awful stench! (Catches sight of Grace in an apron bent over the oven taking something out.) Grace! You're not supposed to be here!

Grace: Oh hello Ivy! (Takes out a huge pan of Tomato Soup Cake and sets it on the table to cool.) Okay Ivy enough games!

Ivy: What games?

Grace: I know you're after my husband! But I'll never let you take him!

Ivy: Look Grace! I think you've been spending too much time near that Tomato Soup Cake! It's gone to your head! _If it could make it past that hair of yours!_

Grace: My hair is just fine thank you very much!

Ivy: How did you?

Grace: That's not important right now, Ivy! We're talking about you!

Ivy: Me?

Grace: Yes! You and my husband! I think you're trying to steal David away from me!

A/N: How I love cliffhangers! Exams may (thank god) be over school unfortunately isn't so I'm trying to update as fast as I can! The more votes the better! (Sorry about the mess-up before)

  



	5. Ivy vs Grace 938

Title: Ivy vs Grace 938

Authors: Ivy Crane and my best friend Beth

A/N: Thanks to those of you who reviewed! I did not write this one alone my best friend wrote half of it. Thanks Beth! This is my last chapter about Ivy/Sam/Grace/David!

~Bennett Kitchen~

Grace: You're trying to steal my husband away from me.

Ivy: What are you talking about, Grace?

Grace: Oh, don't even try to deny it, Ivy. I know you're trying to steal my husband away. I saw the way you were looking at him.

Ivy: You're delusional, woman.

Grace: What did you just say?

Ivy: I said you are delusional.

Grace: No, after that.

Ivy: You're delusional, woman? (raises her eyebrow in confusion and annoyance at Grace)

Grace: What makes you think I'm a woman?

Ivy: Um, you have three kids, almost four, with Sam, and one with David.

Grace: What makes you think they're men?

Ivy: I can vouch for Sam, but I don't know about David. _Ewwwwwwwwww!_

Ivy: Wait a minute, are you telling you are a man? But you're not supposed to lie, you're Saint Grace of Harmony.

Grace: I didn't lie, no one ever asked.

Ivy: But what about Faith? I thought you were twins?

Grace: We were, just not identical twins. I made myself look like Faith.

Ivy: (looks at Grace in horror and backs up in her wheelchair) You mean you're a transvestite?

Grace: Yep.

Ivy: Do David and Sam know about this!

Grace: Obviously not.

Ivy: Wait a minute, how on earth did you get pregnant with John, Noah, Kay, Jessica, and Jack?

Grace: If you go to Sweden you can get the whole deal. They've got great rates. You should try it some time; I'm always looking for a new husband. You know what they say; third time's the charm.

Ivy: Wait a minute, then you'd have to know the truth about David and me.

Grace: Yeah, that's right, but Sam was starting to suspect me. Besides, he was getting old.

Ivy: Oh. My. God. I have to go. Bake some cookies. No, wait, I nearly burned down the mansion last time I did that. I know, I'll go call my girls, I haven't talked to them in a week. Got to go, Grace. (Ivy turns her wheelchair around and burns rubber. Grace just stands there, lost in thought, which looks pretty dangerous.)

Grace: (to herself) Oh my God, Ivy knows I'm a transvestite! Now she'll tell Sam and David! And my children! Oh my God, she has to die! (She looks at the monstrosity she calls Tomato Soup Cake and raises her eyebrow and smirks.)

Sam's Room

(Ivy is talking on the phone to her youngest daughter when Grace comes in with some Tomato Soup Cake)

Ivy: (on the phone) Ok, sweetie, I have to go now. Bye. (To Grace) What are you doing up here, Grace?

Grace: Oh, I just wanted to bring up some Tomato Soup Cake for you.

Ivy: (sarcastic) Oh, thank you, Grace. _Once she leaves I'll just throw it out the window._

Grace: (missing the sarcasm) You're welcome. It's my new recipe. (Smirks evilly out of Ivy's eyesight)

Ivy: Oh, Grace, it's still frozen. What a shame. _Thank God for miracles!_

Grace: Oh, that's just too bad. Oh well. (Raises the cake above her head) Say hi to Hitler for me! (Hits Ivy on the head. Knocking her out and making her slump down in her chair.) Oh! Dear me! (Puts hand to her mouth.) I forgot to cut it. Oh well. (Smiles evilly. Sees the blood seeping through Ivy's hair.) I always thought you would look good as a red head. _Now what to do with the body. I could throw it out of the window. No, then it would look like murder. Cut her up and put her in my Tomato Soup Cake. Nah, then she'd be missing and they'd start an investigation. Sam would suspect me. _I got it! I'll push you down the stairs! Disable your brakes so it looks like an accident. 

Ivy: (Moans and moves around.) Where am I?

Grace: You're about to go on a little trip my dear.

Ivy: Trip?

Grace: Down the stairs! (Starts laughing this maniacal laugh) Down the hatch you go! (Pushes Ivy down the stairs.) Ta Ta Ivy dear. (Walks out of the door laughing and heads over to the B&B thinking that her secret is safe.)

~Tabby's house~

Timmy: What's a transvestite?

Tabitha: You don't want to know!

Zombie: I'll tell you Timmy. Come over here. (Timmy walks over and she starts whispering something in his ear.) 

Timmy: (His eyes widen in surprise.) Ewww!

Tabitha: Nasty isn't it Lad?

Zombie: I always thought that there was something weird about that girl.

Hecuba: You've known her since she was a little girl err… boy. Why didn't you tell us.

Tabitha: Well I guess he… she… Grace always acted like a girl.

Scroll: Ahem! Would you rather continue talking about her social life or finish watching?

Zombie: Let's talk more.

Scroll: I knew you wanted to keep watching!

~Bennett House~

Sam: (Walking in through the door.) Ivy! I'm home! Ivy? (Walks over to the stairs. Where he sees Ivy lying on the floor with the wheelchair on her legs.) Ivy! My god! Are you okay? 

Ivy: Sam?

Sam: Ivy!

Sam: Stay right there! Let me go call an ambulance!

Ivy: I'm paralyzed! Where do you think I'll go?

Sam: Oh yea! I forgot about that!

Ivy: Well I didn't! You dropped off of the side of the lighthouse!

Sam: You were really slippery!

Ivy: Then you left me to go check on your wife and I flat-lined in the ambulance! 

Sam: She was my wife.

Ivy: Whose arms did you find her in?

Sam: David's.

Ivy: Whose arms do you think she's in now?

Sam: David's

Ivy: And… (She falls unconscious.)

Sam: Oh! Thank god! (The paramedics arrive and go to work.)

~Hospital~

Sam: How is she Eve? Is she going to make it?

Eve: (Opens her mouth to speak but it cut off by Sam.)

Sam: I knew it! It's bad isn't it?

Eve: Sam! Let me talk. She'll be fine. In fact she'll better than fine.

Sam: What do you mean?

Eve: Well that fall down the stairs has actually done more good than bad. (Seeing the blank expression on his face she elaborates.) She's un-paralyzed.

Sam: But how? Why?

Eve: (Holds up a hand to stop his babbling.) See for your self. Ivy!

Ivy: (Walks shakily through the door.) You called Eve?

Sam: Ivy! You can walk! 

Eve: Now. Now Sam. Ivy needs her rest.

~Ivy's Hospital Room 20 minutes later~

Sam: So how are you doing?

Ivy: I've been better.

Sam: Well at least now you can't lose control of your wheelchair.

Ivy: Lose control? I didn't lose control. Grace pushed me. Right after she hit me in the head with one of her frozen Tomato Soup Cakes.

Sam: Now why would she do a thing like that?

Ivy: She did it because she told me her deepest darkest secret. 

Sam: (Raises an eyebrow) And that would be?

Ivy: That she's a transvestite!

Sam: (Sam starts laughing uncontrollably.) She's had amnesia for over twenty years. I met her the night she got it and she wasn't a man then. Even if she were she wouldn't be able to remember it. 

Ivy: She never had amnesia. She told me herself.

Sam: I think you hit your head a little harder than you thought.

Ivy: But…

Sam: You need your rest I'll be in the cafeteria getting some lunch.

Grace: (Sitting in a waiting room chair waited until she heard Sam leave the room and head to the cafeteria.) _Tell anyone about me will you Ivy? You'll get just what you deserve. _(Walks into Ivy's hospital room. Sees her sleeping on the bed. Turns off the light.) Oh. How sweet. Getting your beauty sleep are you? Time to wake up and then I'll let you sleep for a long time.

Ivy: Sam? Is that you? I can't see anything. Can you turn the light on? (Grace turns on the light and smirks her evil smirk.) You!

Grace: Me. 

Ivy: What are you doing here?

Grace: Why I came to see a dear old friend of mine. When I heard you slip that little secret of mine. I warned you Ivy. I thought the little push down the steps would make you see things more clearly. I guess I was wrong.

Ivy: But no one believes me.

Grace: True. Not yet anyways. But knowing him he won't let anything go this easily. Why I remember one are trash got knocked over and…

Ivy: I get the picture. So what are you going to do to me?

Grace: Kill you. What else?

Ivy: Then it'll look like murder.

Grace: Really? (Holds her chin in thought.) I know! I'll smother you with the pillow and make it look like you rolled over in your sleep.

Ivy: No thanks. (Gets out of the bed and runs down the hall toward the doors.)

Grace: I thought she was paralyzed. (Runs after her firing shots from a gun at her. Ivy runs outside and sees the SWAT team. So apparently does Grace because she turns around and runs the other way right into Sam.)

Sam: We've been looking everywhere for you Martin.

Ivy: Martin? You mean Martin Fitzgerald?

Swat Captain: That's right. (Grabs Grace err… Martin by the arm and drags her into custody.)

Ivy: How can that be?

Sam: Well I found Grace around the same time Martin disappeared.

Ivy: I get the time frame. How did you know it was him?

Sam: Well I decided to humor you and look at all of the places where they do those kind of operations and lo and behold I found that a man named Martin Fitzgerald had come in like that and out as Grace Standish. 

Ivy: So there really was no Grace Standish?

Sam: I never said there wasn't apparently Martin was involved in a major drug ring in Boston. One night while he was selling he saw a girl named Grace walking the streets apparently she had just run away from home. So it was easy to kill her and steal her identity.

Ivy: We need to call Pilar.

Sam: The whole Lopez-Fitzgerald bunch is at the hospital except for Theresa.

Ivy: We should call her too.

Sam: I thought you didn't like Theresa?

Ivy: I didn't but knowing how in Harmony nothing is as it seems how am I supposed to be sure that she sent the tabloid?

A/N: This triangle is finally over! The next one is Fox/Gwen/Theresa/Ethan. Please vote for that one next. It won't take as long as this one did to finish. I just had some minor conflicts but I'm back on track now! 


	6. Author's Note

A/N: Sorry that I haven't updated recently I've been really busy with school and sports. Due to the fact that Fox is no longer part of the Theresa/Ethan/Gwen triangle we have to retake your votes. This time you just have to vote for Ethan to be with Theresa or Gwen. Remember you can't kill a pregnant woman! 

Love: Kay (Ivy Crane for you stupid people) 


End file.
